Wednesday, January 30, 2013

An invincible summer

As I mentioned in my last post, this past week has felt like one giant mountain. I know, we have all had those days, weeks, months, years...that feel like a giant mountain that you just keep on trying to climb. 

And that was how I felt this past week: climbing this mountain, losing my footing, regaining my composure, deciding to keep on climbing. 

I know we all walk this fine line with blogging. With writing. In life really. Where we go back and forth on how personal to be. Especially when things go wrong or we face trials. It's almost as if the air is sucked out of us and we just don't know how to convey our humanness. 

Last Wednesday I faced some physical trials that are always somehow connected to my disease. 
And it took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting it. 
And like I said, it felt like a giant mountain as the days following kept bringing more issues and more concerns and more experiences that were somewhat terrifying. 

I felt as if I couldn't quite believe what was going on. As if it was stumping me. And I can honestly say that if it wasn't for the prayer that was poured over me and my body I'm not sure where I would be at this point. 
I was clinging to the hope that I have in Jesus. 
  When things happen that you don't expect, those are the moments when what or who you are standing on, trusting in, hoping in, become very real. 
And tested. 

I remember thinking at one point during everything that if this was it....all the silly things that I was focusing on and hoping in, what did they really mean in this light?
Perspective will sneak up on you real quick.

I thought the above quote was quite applicable to my last week. My interpretation of it at least.

There will be moments in our lives where we feel like we are in the dead of winter friends. 
That we are walking through the night. And we might feel like we are alone even in the midst of so many people that love us. 
I think suffering can be a lonely thing, because we still struggle with talking about it and sharing in it.

But, even in those times where everything feels the most stark and void of life, there is hope.
And I felt that realization during everything that took place. 
As if through the pain and fear and uncertainty God was whispering that His grace was enough for me. 
That He hadn't let me go. That He was still holding me together. That He died for me so He could walk with me through this suffering.

This is where my own interpretation comes in.
I have come away from this past week with some wounds and a lot of work ahead of me. 
But, Christ in me, He is my "invincible summer" so to speak.
He has given me hope in the midst of this winter to keep on climbing the mountain.
He is my promise of a life giving summer ahead. 

Monday, January 28, 2013

Well, lately.

This week has felt like a test on many levels. A test of my courage. A test of my strength. And a test of my ability to not be full of fear.
And it has been a week where I have witnessed the power of prayer in a very real and active way in my life.
I do want to share a deeper post about some of these things.
But, for right now I feel like it's not quite in me to let it out.
Maybe I've just had enough of feeling like a downer these last few days. Sometimes you just get tired of thinking about what's going on with yourself. And I think that can be a good thing.

So, until I work up the brain capacity to type into words everything I felt and thought this past week.
(Which I promise, does have a lot of good and growth wrapped into it.)
I leave you with some pictures of the usual happenings.

Spice rack clean outs.
Where I inevitably spill red pepper flakes all over the floor and try to keep one little kitty out of them.

Chocolate covered fortune cookies.
That of course, hold the most obscure fortunes.
But, that's part of the fun I suppose.

Good hangs with the best people. My favorite at least.

It's boot wearing weather people. And I'm ok with that.

And somedays I highly consider wearing my pjs out to run errands.
Team plaid. But, I do not discriminate against a good paisley print.

Friday, January 25, 2013


Pinned Image
image via // my pinterest boards

I am feeling the hope and thankfulness that is in this today.
What a precious gift grace is.

Wishing you all a lovely Friday friends!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Flower power

We are in the dead middle of January friends.
And while this is Michigan, so I can not complain too much about winter, it is beyond cold. 
We have witnessed some negative numbers the last few days when you add in that wind chill. 
And I'm pretty sure it has a lot of folks feeling some cabin fever. And longing for sunshine. 

So, I can't think of any better way to beat those winter blues by enlisting some natural elements to come and hang out for awhile. 
I purposely have purchased some flowers and plants to make ye olde apartment feel more cheery.

I love succulents because there is not much you can do to kill them (kitty paw alert in the background). 
Keeping it real here people.
 And daises make me think of spring and my favorite movie and they last a good long time.

So, I'm workin' that flower power over here in Michigan knowing full well we have months of winter ahead of us. 
And while I'm at it I'll just mention that every time I say "flower power" I have a flashback of me circa 1997-1999. Purple chapstick and all. 

What are the things that are keeping you warm and cozy (and sane) these last few blustery days? 
Oh, and by all means, what is your favorite flower or plant? 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Raise a glass...or a mug.

What is it about a good mug? Anyone want to chime in here?
I just love mugs.
There is something extremely comforting and snugly about cradling a mug in one's hand.
Especially this time of year when the cold weather seems to be taking over.

Part of my mug love might come from the fact that there is normally coffee in it. Minor side note.
But, regardless of your choice of drink, a mug is a wonderful thing.
And it's fun to say.
Go ahead, say "mug".

I'm not much for the matchy matchy mug rule.
Instead, I have a lot of mismatched mugs that all tell a story and all have some sorta' memory wrapped up in them.
And of course we all have our favorite mug that seems to make an appearance from the cupboard more than usual.

I have two matching mugs that look more like tea cups that I purchased in a little shop in my hometown just after getting engaged to erick.
Every time I use one I think of those beginning years when we were just getting started.

I have a mug that I bought during our time in South Carolina. It reminds me of our adventure and everything we learned. It also brings to memory early morning sunrises coming through our apartment window.
The orange red glow would peak over the buildings and fill the room.

I have a mug that reminds me of my favorite movie.
A mug that hails a lovely place I would like to go.
Mugs that were bought for me by grandparents.
Mugs that remind me of that time I got my wisdom teeth pulled.
A mug that proclaims my coffee addiction.
A people reminder mug. I think of them every time I use it.

All of them unique. And all of them tied to sometime, someplace, someone.
The cupboard is calling you to find out what stories your mugs are telling.
Go on, brew a cup of coffee and remember it.

Monday, January 21, 2013

The most compelling of many options

Hello friends.
I hope this month has been treating you well so far.
I must be honest with you all (or honest with myself) and simply state the obvious: I have not been writing very much.
And maybe that isn't the type of thing that many would feel compelled to mention or confess.
And I maybe I shouldn't feel compelled to mention it either.
But, I feel like I owe to all of you and myself to be honest on this space.

I mean, after all what is the use of writing if you can't (or won't) be honest while doing it?
I know, to an extent we all filter.
And to an extent, that is probably a good thing.

I have been digging through some emotions lately. Emotions of failure. Emotions of seeking.
Just dealing with them by trying to understand where God is pointing me.
And this space has been on my mind as a result.

I want you all to know. And I want myself to read it (over and over again if necessary): my desire for this space is to be much more than a "trophy case" for my life.

I hope it to be encouraging and challenging and full of the lighthearted moments that make us stop and forget.
I hope for community and inspiration and ideas.
I hope for good writing and good discussion and good changes as a result.
I hope for a space that reflects the things I am most deeply passionate about: my Savior and my husband.
I hope for a place that makes much of God and what He is doing in our lives.

Writing in this way has become such a soul searching process for me. More than I ever thought it would be.
I think whenever we pursue something that is rooted in the deeply becomes a learning tool.
And this space has been just that to me.
So many times.
And in so many ways.  

My desire is that I will find the courage to pursue something with all my heart and toss the fear and anxiety all out the window. Do you ever feel that way?
That there is something tugging on your heart and you just need that moment of supernatural courage to run after it.

I once heard a sermon where the preacher concluded by telling us to follow the most compelling of many options that God has set before you at any cost.

It's been rolling around in my head as I ask: what pulls on me the most and am I pursuing it at any cost? 

What about you?

Thursday, January 10, 2013

on 26

Don't you think that getting older is such a surprising process? 
In the sense that you never really notice it happening (until that one day you spot a gray hair).
Time just sneaks up on us. 
I find myself saying "time just flies" more and more as I get older.
 Just like I heard older people repeating over and over throughout my childhood. 
What is it about youth that makes time linger just a little longer?

So, here I am (in the middle of the night) on my 26th birthday trying to make sense of all that.
Apparently age gives one the right to think too much and come to few conclusions as well. 

This year has been such a growing process.
 I can't seem to wrap my mind around the thought that a year ago Erick and I were still living in south carolina (shout out to our sc peeps).

I feel like I have been stretched (and then stretched some more) in so many different areas of my life. 
I have grown this year, but it was felt with pain and tears at times.
And then there were moments when I would grasp something and feel tremendous joy.
God made it abundantly clear the areas in my life that needed attention. 
And sometimes growth is not graceful or lovely. Even though I am the recipient of much grace. 
 I think it is too easy to look back on a year of my life and think of all the things I didn't do. 
To dwell in the things that remain to be seen.
The things I'm still working on.
The things I'm still hoping for.
The things I may be disappointed in.

But, not right now.
Because my God has brought me along. He isn't finished with me yet. He makes all things new. 
He never leaves a good work unfinished. He works it to completion.

26 will be different than 25 because of it. 

(here are some of my favorite memories of 25)

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Best year yet

Happy 2013 everyone.
I know, I am a little late with the wishes. 
It's taken me a few days though to really think about resolutions and if I'm going to make any. 

Because, in a moment of honesty, I never really follow through. I can hardly believe it myself. 

After some pondering I have realized that more than resolutions, these are things in my life that I really need to be working on. These are areas in my life that I should be taking more seriously regardless of a new year. 

Time out to mention: there is something about a fresh new start that is quite wonderful, no?

So, I believe that these resolute resolutions are quite personal this year. They have taken some "soul searching" on my part. And a good dose of honesty. And some are lighter than others. 
But here they are in a very list-like form. Which is how I prefer my resolutions.

1. Continue to work on my low carbohydrate diet for the benefit of my blood sugar.
(because sometimes you need to resolve not to give up)

2. Start adding in exercise to further benefit my blood sugar and health.
(taking it slow here people.)

3. Get A1Cs down to 6.5 by June.
( a very personal goal related to my diabetes. a goal worth striving for.)

4. Work on being more giving.
(of my time, of my resources. i should add I am praying that the Holy Spirit works this in me as i choose obedience.)

5. Read 5 books start to finish in 2013.
(i confess, i am a starter of books and not a finisher. not to mention, i have a hard time being still)

6. Spend time daily loving Jesus.
(because i need His Word and i believe there is power in prayer)

7. Focus on experiences and adventures instead of accumulating stuff.
(can i get a witness?!)

8. Allow the blog to be what it will. Take chances. Filter less. Stop caring about growth.
Write because I love to write.
(need I say more about this one?)

9. Spend more time in the moment & less time on my phone and social media.
(we only have one life to live, i want to focus mine on what truly matters)

10. Plan one night a week set aside for just me & erick.
(no work, no stress, no phones, just fellowship with my best friend)

Cue blurb of pictures taken over the holidays now:

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