Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Where I've been and where I'm going.
I suppose I have been putting this post off for awhile. It's definitely not one of the easier things that I have chosen to write about.
In the midst of the flood of thoughts rolling through my head I hope they translate as concise and heartfelt as possible.
I almost decided to walk away from blogging this past week.
I've needed time to rethink my purpose and goals in doing this. And let me be honest, this was definitely sparked in my head after our church hosted an awesome youth conference that Erick and I helped out at and the Word of God just penetrated my heart.
So, here comes the brutally honest part: I have had to look at my motives behind this blog.
What is it? Is it about the number of followers? Is it a creative outlet for me?
Is it my life on display? Is it that someone is going to eventually consider me an expert at something?
Is it about my writing? Is it about my family and relationship with my husband?
What is this about?
Because, can I be honest friends?
Sometimes I feel discouraged when it comes to blogging.
Sometimes I'm not sure why I would spend hours a day going through the motions of all this.
If this space is just about me and my life and what I'm doing or what I've done or my writing then I think I have personally missed it.
I did say "personally."
Which means I don't hold my personal convictions over anyone else.
I have come to the conclusion that striving towards the world of "blogdom" is the wrong way for me.
I need to adjust my priorities.
I need to live the life that God has given me and allow my relationship with Him, my husband, and my family be a real priority first.
Lastly, I recognize that I have often talked about my faith on this blog.
I don't think it is any secret.
But, I haven't allowed myself to talk about it enough.
I would rather this space be pointing to Jesus than me.
And I understand that might make this blog tougher to swallow.
I understand I may isolate my audience.
And I understand I may lose some followers. Some readers. Some comments.
But, that's alright.
I fully recognize that.
I'm just putting it out there right now: this blog is going to point to the cross. And how it has changed me.
I'm not the same because of it.
I am laying down my rights to this blog and making it solely about me.
Because there is more to my story than myself.