Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Choosing to fight


I found this on my kitchen counter as I stumbled out of my bedroom this morning....kitty right on my heels. Because as far as I know, kitty doesn't write, so this had to be from my dear husband. The font gives him away (I imagine that kitty's font would be quite elegant). And I'm sure in the midst of his busy morning: packing a lunch and digging for the work pants that I probably forgot to wash....he took the time to scribble this out. 

He has always been one to write little notes. I am spoiled like that. But, this one really struck a nerve with me. It became quite symbolic very quickly. There this sticky note lies on my blood sugar machine. The symbol of my disease. Which, in case you are stumped: Type 1 Diabetes. And I couldn't help but feel a sense of readiness. Ready to fight. The elephant in the room is that Erick and I will be married for six years in August, and we have often talked about wanting to start a family. But, it's just not that simple for someone like me. I have to work for it. I have to get my body into an almost perfect state of control. And perfection is a scary thing. Especially when it involves a future child.  

I share this because it's almost as if this square sticky note was God's way of proclaiming through my husband: trust me. rest in me. 
  That even though my recent blood sugar numbers have been a slight roller coaster...I am loved.
That even though I am struggling to figure out where to begin....I can trust. 
That even though my mind and body feels very tired thinking about the road ahead....I can rest.
Unconditional love is a powerful motivator, don't you think?
It gives us a choice.

2 comments:

  1. This made me happy.

    My niece (11 years old) has struggled with this disease and I often wonder about her future and being able to live a full life. She loves children and is always helping with her little cousins. I just know she will be a wonderful mother someday but hope that her illness does not stand in the way.

    You have a wonderful husband and I wish you both the best :)

    Tiffany

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thanks Tiffany.
      I can definitely relate to those struggles that your niece is facing. They have taught me to trust God with my life and know that He has my days in His hands.
      I hope your niece finds a group of people that can encourage her to keep pushing! It sounds like you are very close with her. :)
      Thank you for stopping in...I will be praying for your niece!

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