...a quote from my favorite movie. Sometimes I find those words running into my head at odd times during the Christmas season. It just seems to fit the moods that I shift in and out of around this time. One can simply fill in the blanks: "It's coming on Christmas..." and insert whatever thoughtful blurb pops into one's head. Mine mostly consist of thoughts of how I am not ready for this splendid day to be upon me quite yet. Maybe being "ready" for Christmas consists more of a mental exercise than an exercise in spending money on presents, and baking batches upon batches of cookies.
Everyone has those Christmas memories that we try to live up to every year. Mine mostly consist from chilhood when life was "simpler" but I wouldn't have recoginized that during the current crisis of that time. I spend every Christmas season trying to prepare myself mentally for all the joy and thoughtful moments I should be having as I drink hot chocolate and watch snow flakes sky dive to the ground. Instead, I have found that the last few years I have fallen short of that mental preparation. All the presents get purchased, baked goods are created, and the various jolly greetings are sent out....but something seems amiss.
I remind myself that there is "always next year" and surely I will have everything organized by then to make my Christmas beyond memorable. I am not sure that it ever comes into bloom though. So, I am left to assume one of two things: as I age my ability to retain the innocent joy of Christmas dims, or I am too busy comparing Christmas present to Christmas past that I forget to acknowledge the new within the old. Both are quite possible.
One needs to recognize that all this mental exercise does not need to consist of multiple epiphanies for each Christmas thought. The innocence of Christmas past could be summed up in being consumed by the joy of every little ritual and each quite moment that the season brings.
It's coming on Christmas and I can't think of many epiphanies that I've had this year but I'm choosing to pass on this thought for the experience.